Who is Lisa Marcia? - On Social Media, as a Wife, & as a Friend

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy? - Albert Einstein

Going to try a little series out on y'all, so people can get to know who I am a little better. I get a lot of questions about "Who is Lisa?" usually because I'm pretty behind the scenes. 

As a WIFE

This is hard section to write on because most times you'd ask a spouse's opinion. I think they have it a little clearer in how you are functioning as their partner, but I'm going to attempt! And since Steven never reads my blog you can assume everything I say is correct! :) 

I take very seriously the relationship of a wife because I don't trust many people. Finding someone you trust on all levels is something special; something to fight for. I'm not a jealous person. I've learned to trust my gut on women and other relationships my husband holds, especially in the line of work that he's in. I know when something ain't right, and I'll give him a heads up and let him manage that. The great thing? Most times, he's on it before I even have to mention it. Women are weird & forward, especially in church! So, if anyone has a thought about my husband, know I already know! :) I don't hold the wife title to win votes! :)

Steven and I talk about everything. He knows all that's going on with me and visa versa. I like how that works. Some marriages stand to assume a relationship that functions more authoritatively with the husband in a role that puts him above a wife in a tangible sense, rather than a spiritual sense. That wouldn't work for us.

Other things: I love to cook, I can get really goofy and I'm loyal like a faithful dog. 

The ever corporate-minded independent women I was before Steven came along, was softened my meeting him. I'm still independent (ask him!) but when you get into the church or music industry, you tend to take a back seat in people's minds. Don't go and feel sorry for me. It's actually been refreshing in some aspects because I'm not as concerned about what people think about who I am. Rather, I get to be more focused on being the best me I can be to my family and in my own business industry. Cliche? Probably!

As a FRIEND

Those of you who know me, know I've always got an opinion, can talk up a storm and frankly I think I'm a pretty easy person to get along with. I'm not intimidated by much in life and whether you're a guy or gal, I can usually hang. In fact, it's usually easier for me to talk with guys; it's how I've always been. 

I might be easy going in social situation, but, I'm not someone that just conforms, so many times that doesn't win me the "usual" friendships many women so often desire. I'm not rude, but I'm not out to please everyone by being the stereotypical wife, mom, Christian, or friend. Some people reading this might laugh, because I might just "fit that mold" to them. I'm here to break that assumption. :)

I'm simple when it comes to relationships. Sometimes like a guy. I like the no-strings attached, no dramatic expectations; just simple, loving relationships. I don't need to call ya, hear from you or be in contact every week, but I like to know it's a two-way street. I've got very few close fiends (I can count on a few fingers). It's easiest for me to disconnect when I know it's not a working relationship. This also doesn't win me many points in the "GIRL" department because most women want/need something I'm just not interested in giving. Maybe that's wrong of me? Balance is important and finding that in my relationships has been necessary in order for me to engage in new relationships. Wow, we're getting deep here folks!

As a SOCIAL MEDIA PARTICIPANT

Social Media and Marketing is what I do for a living. It's my business. (I'll dive into that more in another blog). On the whole, I like to pick and choose my battles in the social media arena, primarily because I never want to be defined as "someone" on social media by my own doing. You can classify however you want, but I never want a 'persona' that isn't truly authentically me. 

I've always subscribed to the thought that you should never be a better you in public. Consistency is huge for me in the area of character & personality. I come from CA, so what you see is what you get. Whether it's rude or not, at least you know what's coming. I thought I hated that when we left...sometimes I crave that directness here in the south. Directness for me is the antithesis of passive aggressiveness. Ask me what my biggest pet peeve is. 

That being said, I have a closed Twitter account, I'm very careful who I be-friend, comment on and interact with because I have felt the wrath of drama created online and in church and away from any personal connection. I don't have a problem denying a request, not responding to a probe or reacting to something that I know people would love my reaction to. I'm not an in-your-face type of direct. I do have tact. But, know that a non-response by me is my own response to whatever is floating out there online. Either it's not my passion, I haven't researched it so I have no opinion, or frankly I don't want to be defined by fighting a certain fight through 140 characters.

Bam! There it is. I hope that didn't come across too blunt or unemotional. Trying this year to allow people a closer glimpse of who I am, rather than be consistently defined in ways that I then have to refute or defend. So, this is me. Elaboration is my strength and my weakness, so this won't be the last defining blog I write. There's more to come. Hope you can come along for the ride.

Perspective for the New Year

"A little perspective, just like a little humor, goes a long way."

Allen Klein

2011, what a year! A whirlwind of emotions, stresses and of constant change. Many times I cannot seem to express in words everything my mind is thinking (this is a good thing!). However, being a person with the need to express what I'm feeling, the only thing that comes to mind is a roller coaster. The ever present ups and downs of life that I experienced this last year were similar to the previous. 

Something that my Dad told me once when I was younger that I will never forget is that stress isn't always a bad thing happening. At first I didn't understand that thought, for being young and my biggest stress being an upcoming test or how I would fill up my gas tank for $12 bucks at the end of the week, the "bad" stress was all I saw.  Everything else in life was good. Now, as a wife and mother I can say I have experienced many good stresses in life. You don't realize it until you go through it, but you can look back and think "That was a great time, but wow....it took a lot of effort, dedication, commitment, sacrifice"....all good, but still with the residue of stress.

Let's digress from this for a second....

Yesterday, was sweet Hallie Green's memorial service. It was beautiful. I honestly don't think I've been to a better memorial service. It wasn't overly mournful, but it wasn't falsely celebratory. It had just the right balance between emotions to allow you to cry and rejoice in the same room. One of the things I took away from the ceremony was how well her mama did. Now, Chris I know is used to speaking in front of groups and he did an excellent job. However, Katie isn't running a staff and she's a full-time mommy, so I would assume hopefully not ignorantly that she's not as comfortable on stage. Just a guess. With what seemed like bullet point notes, she shared her heart with us like only a mother could about their child.  While she said she doesn't feel "strong" her undying faith and her 'letting go of that which was dearest to her' that was so often shared through their blog exuded confidence and a strength that surpassed my understanding as she stood sharing about her little Hallie. I was honored to get to share in their day and continue to HOPE in all things good. 

To keep up with their story, visit them here.

Now, back to my thoughts for the new year....

As I sat here this morning, I read a scripture from my devotion. It was the story where God asked Abraham to give his son back to the Lord (through sacrificing him). If you don't know the story, you can read it here, it's not morbid although the lead in makes it seem so! God never wanted Abraham to kill Isaac and the cool thing about Abraham was that his faith was so strong, he knew that God would redeem Isaac. I've read this story countless times, but the verse that Abraham says to his servants that went with them on the journey stood out to me today. Abraham was so confident that God wouldn't forsake him he said this to his servants, "Stay here....and WE will come back to you." That meant both he and Isaac would return to go home after worshiping the Lord.  I know most times I don't have that kind of faith.

How poignant a devotion after a memorial service for a child. To sum up the story in a sentence: What ever we hold dearest to us in our lives, is our Isaac. This is not implying in the slightest anything about the above mentioned family or memorial service (please do not read it that way). More importantly, it's what I came to realize from this passage. STRESS I believe is one of my "Isaacs". We can't control stress, but we can dictate it's hold on life. 

My house is never clean, I never seem to get enough work done for my clients, dinner is most often late, laundry...who folded that last?! The list could go on and on. I'm a Type A, analyze everyone, 'figure it out' type gal; Always have been, always will be. That often leads lead me to a place of need for control and self-reliance. 

All you folks are probably saying, what about your family? Of course my husband and my baby Jack would be dearest to me in a tangible sense, but I believe we all have things in our lives that we can't "see" that are our dearest possessions even though we'd say we hate them. It's a love/hate relationship between who we are and who we want to be.

A week into 2012, I have a new found perspective on letting it go. Laundry ain't going to always be done. My hair will most likely be a mess most days and my clients will need to be patient with what I'm able to get accomplished. Dinner will be served when it's done and well, our budget will be balanced, yet flexible. This year will be a year of focus on family and priorities. There isn't much more to life than those you love, whether family, friends or those strangers that come into your life for the moment.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

....Let Your Heart be Light"

This year is a mixed feeling kind-of-Christmas. In all honesty, my heart isn't feeling light. I am looking forward to Jack's 1st Christmas and all that goes with it. Santa's even brought a couple of toys early, since he couldn't wait until the 25th to see him play with them.  My Dad always said when you have kids the "Magic of Christmas" seems to return like when you were young. I can attest to some of this magic spilling over when I see Jack admire the gifts and tug at the stockings on the mantle.

Mixed emotions seem to come from the reality of life. Let me explain where this comes from.

Hallie Lynn Green. Born December 19, 2011 at a little under 5lbs, this little girl entered the world with odds stacked against her. All the prayers we've prayed for our friends, The Greens have been answered in full. Nothing was left unturned in the "hope" department. Taken from their site: Our "Hope for Hallie" is that people would see life as a gift, and draw near to God. Accomplished. At least with me. Yet, none of that hope guaranteed Hallie living long-term. 

There's still a part of me that grieves that last sentence. Not out of a distrust in God, but the thought of having a child and then letting them go. As a parent, that is a crippling emotion.  Empathy is a strange gift. It's never about you, yet the pain you feel for someone else can be overwhelming. God has allowed it to overwhelm me this week. I count that a tearful blessing. 

This little girl's life has had an impact on how I view family and challenged my humility. The outpouring of love for this family is nothing short of God showing up at your door step to give you a deep embrace. You could say she's made an impact.... at only 5 days old. What a babe! 

That sort of impact doesn't happen too often in life. Her birth reminded me of another baby whose birth rocked the world. We celebrate each Christmas, a gift (a baby) that was given to us - named Jesus - whose birth changed the corse of humanity by simply taking his first breath. People came bearing gifts, they sang to him, they rejoiced from afar having never met him, they praised the Lord. The resemblance in stories is beautiful.

Hallelujah "Hallie": God be praised

How can a 5-day old infant make such an impact? It's been a journey with Katie and Chris to watch them field 9-months of pregnancy pains, questions, joys and sorrows. This is said with the utmost respect for family and close friends that have been by their side from Day 1....my journey came at somewhat of a distance, but the impact was significant. 

Hallie cannot see, she has no eyes, yet she doesn't need to see to feel she's loved. How often do we forget to give love by helping someone feel supported and safe? It's challenged me to give love in tangible ways, without condition and with care.

Hallie has a cleft palette, hindering most from drinking from a bottle - Things in life we often see as imperfections are merely markers that distinguish us as different than the next. We all have obstacles to face in life. No one is omitted. Everyone's is a little different. We're all here to support one another. When we forget to do that, we've lost our way.

Hallie most likely will not live - If I've taken one thing from the Green Family it's this. They have been present during the good and bad, joyful and sorrowful news, taking the beautiful along with the ugly. They have taken their journey, put it into words and gifted each of us reading with a renewed sense of hope. For each person, that "hope" can take on a different meaning.

Hope has always been one of my favorite words because it comes with an expectation, a trust. A trust in something far greater than yourself. It's not falsely excited or naive. For me, it's a relinquishing of control.

Hallie is loved - Our love for others is the expression of the overflowing abundance of love between us and God. I don't know that a child could be more loved, more prayed for, by more people many who don't even know her. God asked us to do 2 things. Love God. Love People. We don't have to know them to love them.

Thank you Green Family. We love you, support you and pray for you always. Your sweet Hallie remains in our hearts and is a constant and beautiful reminder of the gift we call life.

Read About The Greens, Miss Hallie

Sneak Peek - Jack's One Year Bday

Sneak Peek - Jack's One Year Bday by lmarcia featuring canvas flats

TOMS canvas flat
$44 - toms.com

Red Silk Christmas Red Extra Long Tie
$21 - ties.com

Thankful for an 'unconditional' Gentleman

Today I went to Starbucks to work a bit. I needed uninterrupted time to focus on a big client project. I went in my "comfy clothes." My jeans, boots, my hair in a pony tail and just a touch of makeup - this was completed with my favorite Banana Republic black sweater. Nothing flashy, no jewelry. Didn't need to impress this morning. Just going to work.

I got to a Starbucks that is hit and miss when it comes to busyness and of course this morning at 10:30am it was slammed with nowhere to sit. However, there was a little table that wobbled outside open. In an effort to not waste time driving somewhere else, I braved the cold 50 degree temps - the wind chill brought it to the high 40's. Inside, every table was occupied by a middle-aged man. Now, I'm honestly more progressive than to think some man would give up his seat obligingly just because I'm a woman. No, he was there first and I wouldn't expect it. Seriously, I wasn't offended, just cold, haha. One of them would leave eventually and then I'd sneak in and grab the table.

After about 20 minutes and some frozen fingertips, some people exited and I peeked my head inside to see if a table had freed up. Nope. Darn. Oh well...I'll just type quickly so I can get my work done. No sooner did I sit back down did this nice guy come out and say, "Hey, you can have my seat, I know you're cold. I have to take a call anyway. I don't want to be the annoying guy on the phone in Starbucks." I didn't blink and I packed up my things and went inside. This guy looked like a normal "dad" about mid-30's in a baseball cap, jeans and was very obviously working hard on whatever line of work he's in. All the other guys inside were in their nice suits and had their iPads out, just casually tapping on their iPhones. Probably not working...just hangin'. It was generally noticed that he was giving up his seat for me and I thanked him with much appreciation! This guy gave up his seat, because he saw I was cold. That's it. It wasn't because I was attractive or dressed to kill. He was just a gentlemen. 

After siting here for a while, I watched the other men that eyed me while I sat down. I had the sense (not because they didn't offer) but by their stares that they wouldn't have thought to do that for me unconditionally. Ahhh, now I'm a cynic right? Yep, that's it I thought to myself. Off too work. 

No sooner did I think this, that two very attractive (model-esque) women came thru the door. They looked like they were headed to a fashion show with their $500 boots and their Coach bags. They looked really good. In fact, I'd have killed for one of the girls' boots! They were probably mid-20's and had long slightly curled hair. Their makeup was flawless. No sooner did they order their drinks and talk with one another jokingly about it being busy and there was a table outside they could sit at, did two men jump up and offer their seats. Hmmm, I was frozen and no one offered me a seat.

So, I could be some rant some more about how men are pigs and blah, blah, but you know what..? It's Thankful Month. Plus, those people don't deserve much airtime. Instead, today I'm thankful for the guy that gave up his seat for me, just because. Because I was cold and he recognized the need. He went out of his way to come get me, because I didn't ask. He didn't have to, but he did. For that, I'm thankful. 

He also challenged me....is my giving and generosity unconditional? Is yours?