Being Present In the Seasons

I took a break from blogging for a while for a few reasons. The first being that I never want my blog to feel like I "have" to do it. I want it to be organic and something that comes naturally. Something that I want to share with the world. With the hustle and bustle of finishing up our move, keeping my business running, taking care of a toddler and still managing to get dressed and take a shower (most days!) it became overwhelming to handle one more thing. So, I dropped writing for a bit. Just the writing, not the dreaming.

I've been dreaming up big plans for this year and I'm so excited to share them. One of the goals last year for this year was that I work less and get more time for me and my little guy. This is a hard thing to do when my Type A personality kicks in and pushes me to to more. A friend of mine said to me a few weeks back, "You never seem stressed..." To this statement, I laughed. Out loud. A true LOL moment. Maybe it's the Type A in me to seemingly handle it all, until it overflows, because Lord knows (and my husband does too!) that it overflows at times. I like being busy, but the season we just went through during the holidays made me realize how much I don't want to like it. 



While nothing happened directly to our family, we have several families we know directly or indirectly that suffered great tragedies over the holidays. Loss of a spouse, a child, and watching a child suffer without an end in sight was plain overwhelming. Couple that with the Sandy Hook shootings and my emotions as a mom and wife got blown out of the water. I won't expound upon how it made me feel, but I will tell you how it motivated me. While people were planning new years resolutions, I realized how much of an expectation I always have on myself and others. So, this year, 2013 was going to be different. 

How? Action Steps. <--- see I need these in my life (although I know it bugs my husband sometimes that I call them this) :) 
  1. Work less, play more.
  2. Make more money, by doing less, so we can do the second thing above.
  3. Be Present!! Good stuff and not so good stuff.
  4. Take care of my family and myself by eating healthy and exercising. 
That's it. Those are my goals for 2013. They seem nice and people reading might think, that's wonderful, but unless I do them, they're just an action step, not an action. I have to make these things happen. I have to train my mind to conform to something that's not natural. Rest. Breathing Room. 

Type A's - I can hear your anxiety attack flaring. Don't let it! It's been freeing to shut down the computer or a phone at a certain time of night (I'm getting better, but not perfect!!!) it's been nice to not work on the weekends - just to answer a "few" email. It's been great to just hang and sit on the couch or go to the gym and not HAVE to do anything. Everything being a choice. A choice for me. A choice for our family. A choice to be free in the decisions that I make everyday to live a life worth living, each day, to it's fullest. No day will always be a great day, but in that day, I will be present. And in today's society with social media begging to be our master, our phones and computers allowing easy access to our lives 24/7, I find breathing room to be something worth running after with reckless abandon. So here it goes! 





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