This Is Why I Write

I started writing in 2008. It was therapeutic to the avid journal-er in me. I have journals dating back to when I was in second grade. The purple leather journal with a clasped metal lock and pink ballet shoes adorning the cover, captured my younger days. Simpler days. I "upgraded" to a bright green steno notebook that is somewhere in a box from many moves, slowly falling apart at the seams, and needs to be copied before the pages disintegrate.

These journals are filled with my life's experiences. When you desire be older when you're a little kid it seems like life has so much more to offer. I realize that so many parts of growing up include realities you never knew existed in life. Fantastic realities and heartbreaking realties just the same. Yet, it's life and it wouldn't be without any of those experiences.

A theme in my journaling over the years has been trust. Through friendships lost. Relationships crumpled. Joy gained. Love endured. Hope renewed. This is why I write. So much of life is filled with words we truly have no association with in our own lives. We talk about love, grace, trust, joy, perseverance, and act like we understand how to apply those, how to tap into their power, without understanding where they all come from. It leaves us flat; words on a page that anyone can write about, but not everyone has fully experienced.

So how do our words mean anything? God's pretty awesome because he created speech & text, but within the context of that He created something called the 'verb'. (Don't worry, I won't give a grammar lesson...I stink at that stuff!) The verb demands action & intent. It's a tangible testing of the heart of the voice speaking these words. It's a pretty good checks-and-balances system, in my opinion. This is why I write.

Writing has become a way of life in some many seasons. I might not be the typical creative, but my heart is here in black and white and when words flow it sometimes amazes me what comes out. Not that I'm impressed with myself, more so how I'm impressed with what God allows to come out. It might not help anyone or be profound, but the freedom that comes from expressing your heart in a tangible way is pretty close to how feeling known is like. We all want to be known. Some of us do it through our careers, our hobbies and our relationships. This is why I write.

People might not relate and they might not understand fully, but they can see it & see my actions. My hope is that by reading, people can run that litmus test against what I say and what I do. I know for me I've probably not been a consistent person at times in life (yep, fully aware of that and I wouldn't write if I thought I had it all together).

A parting thought for each one reading this is to make certain you are you. Do what you say, mean what you do. Writing helps keep me accountable to myself. Since I put myself out there in blog-land I know it can be rejected or fall flat. That's okay with me. Staying the course and truly pursuing the end goal of loving others and loving God is my journey. I'm thankful you are on that journey in some small way with me.

This is why I write.


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